assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?

candycornfuse:

candycornfuse:

thirstiest:

why do people like fall

gravity

NO WAIT I MISUNDERSTOOD


Perfect Figure | WAV

Perfect Figure | WAV

psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

jesseplnkmvn:

today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.

lesbiansloveandmoree:

Lesbians here
  • Expectations: Using the person next to you as a pillow.
  • Reality: Using the pillow next to you as a person.
Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.
— Robin Sharma (via explore-everywhere)
♦up